Sunday, April 28, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Beautiful Things
Last night I attended a book discussion featuring my favorite author, Cheryl Strayed. This past summer, I read her book, "Wild," a memoir of her journey as a young woman alone on the Pacific Crest Trail. Her story resonated with me so profoundly as it has with thousands of other people. Although I've never hiked ten miles, much less the hundreds of miles she walked, I gravitated to her journey of reflection and eventual self discovery. On this particular trail, she came to terms with her grief, acknowledged her mistakes and found a path to a more enlightened, humbler life.
During the session, she read the last passage of her book "Tiny Beautiful Things" which is advice to her younger self so I had to buy it to read myself.
"There are some things you can't understand yet. Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. It's good you've worked hard to resolve childhood issues while in your twenties, but understand that what you resolve will need to be resolved again. And again. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness........ You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don't waste your time on anything else. Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room"
During the session, she read the last passage of her book "Tiny Beautiful Things" which is advice to her younger self so I had to buy it to read myself.
"There are some things you can't understand yet. Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. It's good you've worked hard to resolve childhood issues while in your twenties, but understand that what you resolve will need to be resolved again. And again. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness........ You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don't waste your time on anything else. Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room"
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Beautiful
My cousin posted this picture of my mother at 29 years old. It mesmerizes me. She is the most amazing, beautiful and loving person I have ever known. Unfortunately, she has to have surgery in a few weeks which will be fine, but of course I worry. I wouldn't be my mother's daughter if I didn't do so. Love you Mom.
Monday, February 11, 2013
My Counselor My Friend
Today I called my therapist to set up an appointment. I don't see him regularly anymore, just dialing him up on occasion if I have something on my mind, or a decision in the making. We end up talking about everything under the sun....from football to poetry or politics. He always has an inspiring piece of literature or article that he has saved to pass on to me. And, he doesn't pull any punches with me - often telling me things I don't want to hear, but doing so in such a way that I can't help but accept them. During our many conversations I get a glimpse into his life, his dedication to his faith, his love of poetry, his pride in the accomplishments of his children and grandchildren. And, I will sometimes see him in passing on the streets of Lawrence, an elderly gentleman, always stately in his suit jacket and fedora. I consider myself to have hit the jackpot when finding such a counselor. I'm grateful for the wisdom that he passes onto me from his life experiences and even his own passion of the arts. But, today it was not his voice message....rather another doctor's stating that he was undergoing a health crisis and unable to communicate with his patients.
This man....my counselor, helped me find my path to wholeness through pursuing art. One of my favorite writings he suggested to me at a particularly dark time in my life is a speech from Karl Paulnack - following is just a small section:
"One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner of war camp.
He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.
Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture - why would anyone bother with music? And yet, even from the concentration camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn't just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, "I am alive, and my life has meaning."
Godspeed, my counselor and friend.
This man....my counselor, helped me find my path to wholeness through pursuing art. One of my favorite writings he suggested to me at a particularly dark time in my life is a speech from Karl Paulnack - following is just a small section:
"One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner of war camp.
He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.
Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture - why would anyone bother with music? And yet, even from the concentration camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn't just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, "I am alive, and my life has meaning."
Godspeed, my counselor and friend.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Legacy
Although we may not fully see
Your life becomes our legacy
When shadows fall and memories fade
Your light will break darkest shade
You’ll carry us beyond our grief
Above the path we won’t yet see
And far beyond the rain we’ll hear
Your heart still beating ever near
Be strong be brave don’t fear the night
Embrace another realm of life
Will that be a star I see or
Your spirit guiding me
We’ll look for love to often see
Others needing empathy
And in your honor may we be
Examples of your legacy
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