I Swim

I took swimming lessons as a child, along with my siblings and the neighborhood children. We attended day after day, week after week. I learned the techniques and all of the strokes. Even though I had the knowledge, I never swam. I was afraid.

As time went by, I watched my friends jumping in the pool and diving from the board. It looked like so much fun. But, there I stayed ...clinging to the side. Even as I grew older, I considered taking lessons again. Perhaps as an adult, it would make more sense to me and I could let go of the fear....but I didn't. I became content to never go into the deep.

When I had children, I was determined that they would never be afraid of the deep. I took my girls to swimming lessons early on. It was a great relief and pleasure to see them swimming and enjoying themselves. But my fear would often grip me and at times when we were together on the lake or at the ocean, I would remind them of the dangers and ask them to stay on shore or in the shallow part.

Two summers ago, when visiting my sister, I found myself at her pool....once again looking into the deep. I dove in. It wasn't graceful or without fear, but I did it.

And, now I swim. I swim in the deep and wonder why I clung to the side for so long.

My Awkward High School Reunion

From what I have observed, alot of people feel excitement with an upcoming high school reunion, to look their best, diet for months, etc. I really had no desire to even attend my reunion in Oklahoma, other than having a fun evening with my friend Shelley. High school for me, was not the magical experience that it seems to have been for alot of other people.

When it came down to a few weeks before the reunion, with alot of things piling up, I emailed Shelley, and told her I wouldn't be able to make it. "It is the first week of summer classes" I said. She wouldn't hear of it. I was coming. "Make it work. See you then."

So, grudgingly, I paid my fee and even shopped for a dress. I made the trip to Oklahoma. That evening, Shelley and her husband picked me up at my parent's home. "Okay," I said, "Even tho no one will remember us or care to speak to us, I would like to leave a good lasting impression on these strangers. So, don't let me dance." "Okay, whatever," Shelly said with a smile.

You know where this is going don't you?

I danced. And, I danced and danced. Thanks Shelley.

The Wonder Years

Growing up as the youngest of three children, some memories of my early childhood are dim, others very vivid.

When I had the mumps at a young age, I woke up to see my sister and her two friends bent over my bed staring at me. She told her friends at school how hideous I looked with mumps, and that they could come have a look at me. I am pretty sure she charged admission.

The two of us always fainted. Sitting in the church pew, or shopping at Sears - Whooshh!! - down we'd go....My parents couldn't take us anywhere without one passing out. It became so common that my brother wouldn't look twice when he saw one of us being carried down the hallway at school semi-conscious. I even once fainted while on the toilet and knocked my tooth out on the porcelain when falling to the floor. My sister, in her girl scout uniform scurried around the bathroom floor looking for my tooth while my mother, in a panic, picked me up and ran outside with me. When I came to.. I was outside with my underwear around my ankles.

Even though we may have been more dramatic, my brother also had his moments. One morning, he woke up crying and wailing loudly that he had swallowed a nickel. Mother rushed off to the kitchen. She came back with an entire loaf of "Wonderbread." She told him to eat as much bread as he could. After a while, he was sitting in his bed, wide-eyed, stuffing himself with bread, he suddenly recalled that he hadn't swallowed a nickel - he had just dreamed he was a bubble-gum machine!

These were our "wonder" years.

If I Had a Hammer...

With a few days off, I decided to change things up in my apartment. This required hanging pictures. I don't own a hammer, but I have a shoe that has a great heel on it that I use from time to time....So I went to the hardware store to buy a hammer. But, when I arrived, I was distracted by "Ready Strips" which you can hang art and mirrors with no nails..or hammers!

So, after easily displaying things on the wall. I was very proud and satisfied with my nifty little "Ready Strips"

Later, my friend Bob came over and as we were chatting in my living room, a large picture dropped from the wall onto the floor. Laughing nervously, I said "I've been redecorating." Then, about ten minutes later while still conversing, a large mirror crashes to the floor. Bob was clearly confused and a little distressed about everything crashing around us, but I dismissed it, and we went off to dinner.

Arriving back home after dinner, I walked in the living room and all the walls were bare, with pictures lying awkwardly around the floor. So...I got out my shoe.....

Boredom....Be Careful

I jumped into a Bouncy House this afternoon.....I was bored.

Students today had their end-of-year picnic, complete with every type of recreation available, including an inflatable obstacle-type contraption. The picnic was lovely, but was growing a little long since I didn't have much to do. I need structure.

So, while observing some students in the bouncy house, they asked if I would give it a try.....and of course I would!!

Apparently, it was a race of some type. You race against another person going thru an identical obstacle course on the other side of the inflatable structure. So, I began by propelling myself into this thing, and the thought very clearly came to me, how embarassing it would be if I could not climb out of it and they had to let the air out to extract me.........

Anyway, I went through the structure....and by the time I got to the top, (where you get on a giant slide that spits you out) my thirteen year-old opponent was already at the snack tent.

I am not sure any of the other adults saw me. If they did, they were probably saying things like, "Amazing. She has such little self-awareness."

uh, neighbors

When I moved into an apartment and I was alone for the first time in my life, it was difficult. I missed having someone to talk to, I thought a lot about why I ended up being alone at this point in my life. I'm not gonna lie....I was having a little pity party.........until I heard my neighbors.

The neighbors are a couple that share my bedroom wall. They are a typical couple, lovingly taking walks, walking their dog, etc. But, when sharing a bedroom wall with a couple, one is privy to the intimate part of their relationship. I'm not referring to their sex life. I just turn up NPR when that is going on. I'm speaking about the slamming doors, the arguing, etc. I don't expect that their relationship is any more troubled than other couples, but it is just troubled enough to make me think (as I'm lying in my bed)......it's not so bad being alone.

It is what it is

My niece Kelly insists that I should keep a blog. Not because I have profound thoughts on life, and nuggets of wisdom. But because I am on this path of trying to be comfortable on my own, and tend to have alot of missteps along the way. And, luckily I can still find a little humor in those experiences.

Most people have blogs with photos of their loving family, and can lists their children's accomplishments and grandchildren's photos. Well, I don't have that......So do I feel badly everyday because I don't? Of course I do, but "it is what it is." So......here it is.