Paris in Springtime

Just some photos from Paris last Spring that make me happy - Happy Springtime!!

Beautiful

My cousin posted this picture of my mother at 29 years old.  It mesmerizes me.  She is the most amazing, beautiful and loving person I have ever known.  Unfortunately, she has to have surgery in a few weeks which will be fine, but of course I worry.  I wouldn't be my mother's daughter if I didn't do so.  Love you Mom.

My Counselor My Friend

Today I called my therapist to set up an appointment.  I don't see him regularly anymore, just dialing him up on occasion if I have something on my mind, or a decision in the making.  We end up talking about everything under the sun....from football to poetry or politics.  He always has an inspiring piece of literature or article that he has saved to pass on to me.  And, he doesn't pull any punches with me - often telling me things I don't want to hear, but doing so in such a way that I can't help but accept them.  During our many conversations I get a glimpse into his life, his dedication to his faith, his love of poetry, his pride in the accomplishments of his children and grandchildren.  And, I will sometimes see him in passing on the streets of Lawrence, an elderly gentleman, always stately in his suit jacket and fedora.  I consider myself to have hit the jackpot when finding such a counselor.  I'm grateful for the wisdom that he passes onto me from his life experiences and even his own passion of the arts.  But, today it was not his voice message....rather another doctor's stating that he was undergoing a health crisis and unable to communicate with his patients.

This man....my counselor, helped me find my path to wholeness through pursuing art.  One of my favorite writings he suggested to me at a particularly dark time in my life is a speech from Karl Paulnack - following is just a small section:

"One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940.  Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany.  He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner of war camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist.  Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind.  It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp  Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music?  There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture - why would anyone bother with music?  And yet, even from the concentration camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn't just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art.  Why?  Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be somehow, essential for life.  The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art.  Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are.  Art is one of the ways in which we say, "I am alive, and my life has meaning."

Godspeed, my counselor and friend.

For You

Legacy

Although we may not fully see

Your life becomes our legacy

When shadows fall and memories fade

Your light will break darkest shade

You’ll carry us beyond our grief

Above the path we won’t yet see

And far beyond the rain we’ll hear

Your heart still beating ever near

Be strong be brave don’t fear the night

Embrace another realm of life

Will that be a star I see or

Your spirit guiding me

We’ll look for love to often see

Others needing empathy

And in your honor may we be

Examples of your legacy

Back to School

My first semester at the KU's School of the Arts begins tomorrow.  Ideally, I would not be fifty years old and still feeling the effects of chemo on Friday......What can I say?  I'm a late bloomer.

Angels

I've been flying back and forth to Chicago over the past year for a clinical trial not available elsewhere.  My visits vary anywhere from once a month to once a week, and so the airlines have basically received every last penny in my pocket.

So, a few months ago, I decided to look into an organization called "Angel Flight" an organization of pilots that donate their planes, fuel, and their time to fly people to and from their doctor's appointments.  I cannot say enough about the people who are a part of this - other than they are selfless and compassionate.  I flew a couple of times with them over the summer and will use them on occasion in the future.  My hope is that my treatment will go so well, that I won't need to travel anymore, but these angels will be there if I do.