Saturday, April 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
"There's My Queen"
I've gone on alot of road trips with my parents in the past couple of years. We were most recently on a trip down to Dallas to spend Christmas with my sister's family. And, except for the heated debate over which mayonnaise is better - Kraft or Hellman's....it was delightful.
At a stopping point in the trip, my dad and I were waiting in the car for my mother to come out of the restaurant. It was raining and my mother was caught without an umbrella, so she placed a plastic bag over her hair. As she was walking toward the car, my dad affectionately said, "There's my queen." I wanted to cry because it was so touching, but instead I muttered something about the weather and wiped a tear from my eye.
My dad said that when he met my mother, he was so impressed by her character and her selflessness in taking care of her dying parents and her younger brother that he knew he had to marry her. And, he also quickly adds, it certainly didn't hurt that she was extremely attractive and could play the guitar.
I guess I am writing this because I feel so bad that my mother had a bad day today. But, as always, she handled herself with grace and dignity. Just like the queen that she is.
At a stopping point in the trip, my dad and I were waiting in the car for my mother to come out of the restaurant. It was raining and my mother was caught without an umbrella, so she placed a plastic bag over her hair. As she was walking toward the car, my dad affectionately said, "There's my queen." I wanted to cry because it was so touching, but instead I muttered something about the weather and wiped a tear from my eye.
My dad said that when he met my mother, he was so impressed by her character and her selflessness in taking care of her dying parents and her younger brother that he knew he had to marry her. And, he also quickly adds, it certainly didn't hurt that she was extremely attractive and could play the guitar.
I guess I am writing this because I feel so bad that my mother had a bad day today. But, as always, she handled herself with grace and dignity. Just like the queen that she is.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Options
A person needs to know they have options. Whether it be schooling, career, or health....options give us hope.
So, I visited my oncologist last week to discuss my options. First of all, I needed to be clear about where the cancer had exactly recurred.
Dr. C described the area of all the tumor growth as the subcutaneous tissue outside my abdomen. "You mean I have cancer of my fat??", I asked. She replied flaty, "No, you have ovarian cancer. "It just happens to have recurred (as you so eloquently put it).. in the fat." "Can I have liposuction?", I asked. "No, Ramona......liposuction is not considered a cancer treatment." I was a bit deflated. I thought I was onto something there for a minute.
She pulled out a list of treatments and from the top, she read the list of possibilities I could try for my new chemotherapy, As she went down the list, it seemed as though I could have very easily just been ordering a meal from a menu.....I surveyed the information, and finally decided on Carboplatin with a side of Doxil...... "Are you sure you wouldn't like to try the Taxol?" she asked. "No thanks. I'm keeping the hair this time around."
So, in a couple of weeks, we will begin...again.
When I returned from the doctor's office, my family opened a bottle of champagne....to celebrate the fact that I still have options.....and with options, I have hope.
So, I visited my oncologist last week to discuss my options. First of all, I needed to be clear about where the cancer had exactly recurred.
Dr. C described the area of all the tumor growth as the subcutaneous tissue outside my abdomen. "You mean I have cancer of my fat??", I asked. She replied flaty, "No, you have ovarian cancer. "It just happens to have recurred (as you so eloquently put it).. in the fat." "Can I have liposuction?", I asked. "No, Ramona......liposuction is not considered a cancer treatment." I was a bit deflated. I thought I was onto something there for a minute.
She pulled out a list of treatments and from the top, she read the list of possibilities I could try for my new chemotherapy, As she went down the list, it seemed as though I could have very easily just been ordering a meal from a menu.....I surveyed the information, and finally decided on Carboplatin with a side of Doxil...... "Are you sure you wouldn't like to try the Taxol?" she asked. "No thanks. I'm keeping the hair this time around."
So, in a couple of weeks, we will begin...again.
When I returned from the doctor's office, my family opened a bottle of champagne....to celebrate the fact that I still have options.....and with options, I have hope.
Friday, February 18, 2011
One More Dance
Just let me dance one more dance.
I promise I won't stay too long.
The night's slowly fading, the day is awaking and
I've been waiting so very long.
Love ones around me, dancing beside me, never wanting me to fall.
Just let me dance one more dance
Besides...they are finally playing my song.
I promise I won't stay too long.
The night's slowly fading, the day is awaking and
I've been waiting so very long.
Love ones around me, dancing beside me, never wanting me to fall.
Just let me dance one more dance
Besides...they are finally playing my song.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Just Be Okay
I have a very favorite television show that I watch. It is called The Big C. It chronicles the life of a terminally ill woman with cancer. Doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs? It is....and so much more.
Laura Linney plays the protagonist who is diagnosed with terminal cancer and through the various plot lines, she tries to come to terms with her illness and her limited time. I'm glued. I get it. I wonder how the writers of the show knew that those exact things were going on at the same time in my own life?
I've learned so much about myself through watching this series, especially in perspective to how she worries about her son's life after her death. When she recieves her diagnosis, all rationality goes out the window. She is on a short time line. Everything is urgent. Although he is just a teenerager going through the usual teenager growing pains, there is no time for that. She must fix him. He must mature, be happy, be productive and completely have life figured out before she is comfortable dying. And.......it does'nt happen. And it won't happen.
Sometimes we have to accept that life does not happen according to our own agenda or timeline. We can't speed up the process of life and maturity, no matter how much it may mean to us. We just have to understand that each person grows in their own time frame and according to their own plans. Cancer can make a person selfish. I've accepted alot lately.....they will be okay....they are okay. Perhaps they never needed to be fixed in the first place.
Laura Linney plays the protagonist who is diagnosed with terminal cancer and through the various plot lines, she tries to come to terms with her illness and her limited time. I'm glued. I get it. I wonder how the writers of the show knew that those exact things were going on at the same time in my own life?
I've learned so much about myself through watching this series, especially in perspective to how she worries about her son's life after her death. When she recieves her diagnosis, all rationality goes out the window. She is on a short time line. Everything is urgent. Although he is just a teenerager going through the usual teenager growing pains, there is no time for that. She must fix him. He must mature, be happy, be productive and completely have life figured out before she is comfortable dying. And.......it does'nt happen. And it won't happen.
Sometimes we have to accept that life does not happen according to our own agenda or timeline. We can't speed up the process of life and maturity, no matter how much it may mean to us. We just have to understand that each person grows in their own time frame and according to their own plans. Cancer can make a person selfish. I've accepted alot lately.....they will be okay....they are okay. Perhaps they never needed to be fixed in the first place.
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